Where to start? In 2012, I began blogging with a friend so we could share our lives with one another in a way that was a little less boring that writing letters. I recently re-discovered that blog and reading it inspired me to try this again to get my thoughts and feelings out for learning more about myself. It's so much easier to write about things and feelings than it is to talk about them. Words seem to flow so much easier on a keyboard.



This is Steven Harley Woodard, my husband of 33 years, and 135 days. He was 68 years and 16 days old when cancer of the esophagus took his life. As you can see, he was a man of personality. He had a great sense of humor and loved to make you laugh.

He loved hunting and shooting, gardening and watching the seeds he planted and cared for turn into something he could harvest and enjoy. He loved people and could start and keep a conversation going with
anyone he came across. It didn't matter if it was in a grocery store,
while walking his dog Cooper, at a doctors office, or pumping fuel into his
truck, he would start talking to anyone who was around him.

 On December 2nd, 2017, he had a biopsy done from his esophagus because he was having trouble swallowing and his throat was always sore. That day we got the devastating news that they discovered a tumor growing and were pretty positive that it was cancer. The next thing we knew, our world was a whirlwind of doctor appointments at the Boise Veterans Medical Center. He endured 2 sessions of chemotherapy which made him suffer needlessly since it was being determined that there was no cure, no surgery and no chance that he would survive this.

So this hunk of a man who was over 250 pounds when this was discovered, slowly slipped down to a mere fraction of that size when he passed away at sunrise on Easter morning, April 16th, 2017. We were blessed to have all our daughters with us when he left, so he was surrounded by love, as well as his best friend from Alaska who spent his last couple of weeks helping me care for him with the respite nurses.

His two sisters and one brother, and one of his brother's in law came to spend time with us and they were invaluable. His sisters are both nurses, so the insight we had from them, their ability to help us understand as well as talk to the medical staff to make sure he was getting the best care possible, and the love and support they gave us helped in so ways I can't even describe. His brother's sense of humor, not unlike Steve's, helped to keep things light and yet show in-measurable love. To know his family was with him gave him deep comfort. Family was everything to Steve.

So, a brand new way of living appeared in my life, and I didn't have a clue what to do next.