A Challenging New Adventure

  24 March 2026 In 2 days my little brother will be 72 years old. In a little over a month I will be 76, and in May my little sister will be 71. How fast time goes by. "sigh" I am finding some new things and areas of my life that have always been there but have changed in maturity and how they are expressed. New emotions, new internal experiences, new insight. New wisdom that makes me stop, look, and listen to where my footsteps are taking me. Ways to express myself and how I can feel sensual but not with youthful slutty expression. There's a big change I'm feeling. It's frightening, it can be over whelming, it's exciting and energizing. It's unknown but curious.   I like it....  

30 December, 2025 I haven't felt much like writing the last few weeks.  Sometimes Christmas will arrive and I will feel a twinge of the loss of Dad, and other times that loss will be large and in charge. This year I missed him a lot. He loved watching his family open each gift and always had that smile on his face of delight and happiness. Rarely did Dad have that kind of joy in his life, but Christmas was special for him.   Every Christmas morning he made a pancake breakfast for his family and guests who may be there. We all ate at the table and enjoyed his love. After cleaning up, we all gathered by the tree and one person would pick the first present, but not for themselves, and then pass it to the named person, who then opened it to all the ohhhs and aweeeees from all. Then that person picked the next present and passed it on, and so on, until every gift was opened, paper was spread everywhere, and we all got to see each person get excited about what they got. It took...

  23 Nov, 2025 Well, it's been almost a month since I wrote anything. I met a new neighbor three houses down and at first it seemed like it would be a good friendship. as 10 short days passed we discovered that we have distinctly different ideas of how to serve God and it seems we may have already severed the friendship. It's sad how fast things like that can happen. I didn't see this coming and it had a profound impact on my emotions, BUT GOD stepped in and began teaching me about how these things are not permanent damage, but a solid lesson in life with Him. Thank You Father.... Cheryl and I talk every evening now and are still trying to figure out how to live closer together. We are trying to listen to God's timing and be patient, but we've been talking for a little over 6 months now and maybe more. Somehow, we need to be closer. Praying for that to happen. Anyway, God is good, all the time and I know I can trust Him to work out what is best for me, in ALL things...

 27 October 2025 Well, October is almost gone and soon it will be Thanksgiving, then Christmas, then another new year will be birthed.  Year 8 since Steve's been gone is almost completed. It ends April 16th, 2026. I have waited, prayed, expected in faith for the new beginnings that the Lord spoke to me about in 2025, but so far each attempt to step out into where I thought He was leading me has not produced a change in circumstances. I packed my entire house except for enough to daily live with and put my home on the market. When a place to move to didn't work out, I took it off the market, and unpacked every box. After unpacking I had 9 boxes and 2 bags of stuff to give away along with some furniture. It seemed like the whole process was a lesson in slimming down. Cheryl is still in Idaho in the same house, and I'm still here waiting to see what God has in mind. Each time I come to the belief that I know what God is telling me to do, I seem to either misunderstand the step...

13 Sept 2025   Well, life has many rabbit trails and it's up to us which trail we follow. I thought I was selling this place and moving back to Idaho.... rabbit trail. No matter where we searched, Cheryl and I found nothing that we could afford to buy. Our limited incomes put us below the level of qualifying for a mortgage loan. So, after a couple months of living with a bedroom full of packed boxes, suitcases, and hopes, I made the decision to stop looking and feeling the frustration and began unpacking everything. Today I have 9 boxes of things to give away after looking more seriously at what I have. Crossroads Missions is coming today to collect the boxes of stuff, the extra bed, the recliner that is uncomfortable, and the AZ room rug. I'm simplifying my living more than I did when I got rid of stuff to pack everything.  In putting things back where they belong I saw many things that I've kept for a long time but never used. I had a lot of sentimental attachment to th...

 2 Sept. 2025 Well, since the house has been on the market, 3 people have inquired about it and 1 of them was just curious. I'm wrestling with the decision to remove it from the market and stay where I am. Today I looked at part time jobs online. I called both Donald and Cheryl to talk about the whole thing and neither of them answered the phone. I've thought long and hard about returning to Idaho. It just doesn't seem to be settling in me.  I have talked a lot with her about what part she needs to do and I'm having a hard time keeping her motivated. Is that what I want to bring back into my life? Am I so happy about the idea of having someone to live with again and having my sis back in my life that I'm blindly overlooking the problems that brought stress before? What am I doing? Life is very inconclusive and frustrating...... But God! He is still my Supplier and Provider....and that I believe.